Category Archives: Conversations With My Editor

Conversations with my Editor

It’s no secret to anyone who’s known me any length of time–I love to tease my editor at Loose Id. Today, because I was bored and restless and itchy because I can’t take meds before my lung function test tomorrow, I sent her this:

Me: Hee hee. If Julian was real, he’d so kill me:

There was a new layer of muscle on his back and, when Leo explored farther, his ass too.

“How much time do you spend at the gym?”

Julian paused in his ravaging of Leo’s body. “Shut up. It’s not like this job doesn’t need it.” He nibbled his way down Leo’s jaw, pushing Leo’s head back with the pressure, then licked a tickling, arousing line down his neck. “Just think what that muscle can do for you tonight.”

“Fuck,” Leo whispered, and Julian laughed.

“Damn right.” But he was no more immune to the heat between them than Leo was. He arched and rubbed himself against Leo, panting in his ear, and the motion seemed as involuntary as the low groan that shivered against Leo’s skin. “Unph,” he muttered, and grabbed the side of Leo’s ass. His breath shuddered out of him. “No, I’m supposed to go slow. It’s Valentine’s.” He growled and buried his face in Leo’s chest. “This was supposed to be romantic.”

Slow would have been nice, but Julian wasn’t even twenty-five yet. Leo doubted he was capable of slow, not until the edge was taken off. “You brought flowers and wine and fancy chocolate. I’d say we’ve covered the romance part of it. To hell with slow. We’ve got all night, if you want to do slow later.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” And to prove his point, Leo rolled over on top of Julian and kissed him like he was still twenty, and not looking forty square in the eye.

——-
Some possible pronoun confusion there, but poor Leo.

And what I got back from her:
DUDE! … Omg, why don’t they stock emergency makeout boys in (nameless coffee shop where she likes to hang out and tease the boys)? Fucking toppy Julian. Omg, fucking take-me-baby Leo. Omg.
——-
So, yeah. I think I pushed some buttons there. 😀

But you’re all gonna hate me for what I’m doing to Dave. #sorry #notsorry

Conversations With My Editor

Me: Just remember I’ll be in bed by 9. Exam tomorrow.

Editor: What time is it there?

Me: It’s almost 9, but I’ll be up for a bit* yet.

Time passes…

Me: Dammit, woman, say something. Or are you efoting?

Me: Uh, I mean editing.

Editor: I’m efoting.

Me: I think I’m keeping that word.

Overtired editing silliness.

* There was a page in the manuscript where I used the words ‘a bit’ four times. She later used it against me. Evil editor.

Conversations With My Editor

As specific dates come nearer–like submission date, publication date, forgot-to-buy-my-brother-in-law-a Christmas-present date–writers can get a little clingy. And editors are there to talk them down off the ledge. Or maybe drive them over it.

Me: The beta readers are trying to kill me.
Editor: All the best ones do.
Me: Hahaha. I’m worried, after all the hype, that I’ll get their notes back and I’ll be all, “OMG, I suck!”
Me: And the Christmas story isn’t co-operating. Maybe it was too big a change in mood?*
Editor: You’re a writer. Writers do that. And then their editors remind them that they’re wrong.
Editor: Could write a Christmas cannibal drabble to bridge the gap.

*The change in mood is from Flesh Market, which is dark and violent, to a Christmas stripper getting snowbound with a slightly innocent client on Christmas Day.

Conversations With My Editor

Me: The tomcat brought me a mouse the other day and followed me around the house with it, mewing and dropping it at my feet, then looking at me expectantly. It was a fat one too–I felt bad throwing it out

Editor: You made appropriate thank-you-good-kitty noises and pretended to eat it, right?

Me: Ewwww, no. I did say thank you, but I think he was disappointed.

Editor: If I killed and brought you a gift and you weren’t sufficiently impressed, I’d be disappointed too. *sniff*

And this is why I no longer have a phobia about editors. 🙂

I should copy over the stoned blowjob conversation for you some day.

Conversations With My Editor

Me: I was considering slipping by the humane society, since the kid wants a rabbit. I’m not sure I want a rabbit, but she’s been asking for a while now. Of course, she also wants a dog. (I might as well build an Ark)

Editor: Er, a rabbit might be slightly less trouble. And quieter

Me:With my luck, she’ll still want the dog next year too.

Editor: Compromise: a rabbit that barks.

Me: I don’t agree with GMO’s 😛

Editor: Picky. *sigh* Wererabbit? Waaaaaaait, OMG — your weres are ALL GMOs! I mean, technically speaking. This amuses me far too much.

Me: DON’T. START.

Editor: I can so see a certain witch flinging a snipe about GMOs.

Me: Oh, crap. That’s all I need, Glyn getting on an anti-GMO kick.

Me: Jeepers, I just realized that the post-apocalyptic military gryphon shifter story is a GMO story. *bangs head on desk*

Editor: You’re welcome.

Addendum: We went to the humane society. We looked at the dogs. And the cats. And the bunnies. And the funny thing was that I was the one who wanted to take home both a bunny and a cat.

Conversations With My Editor

Me: My mother is coming to visit the end of the week. So if you get a really big UPS parcel, open it quick. I’m a little claustrophobic.

Editor: I’ll keep an eye out. Make sure you make enough air holes for yourself.

Always looking out for me…

Conversations With My Editor

This occurred during a conversation where I was apologizing again, because Bite Me is still growing.

Editor: I’m gonna end up with another 96k book to match hers (another of her authors), aren’t I? I always forget you have ones that age!
Me: Yes, yes you are. Sorry. #notsorry Once we have the whole thing to look at, we can see if there’s any pruning.
Editor: Meh. If it needs to be 96k, it needs to be 96k.
Me: Thank you for saying that. I really do get hung up on length. *coughs*
Editor: HAH! Hey, so long as the length is put to good use & isn’t limp, I’m all for it.

Conversations With My Editor

I do seem to have a lot of these…

Me: sends (amusing) snippet of Work In Progress to tease editor
Editor: You realize that every time you send me stuff like this, I have complete mental images of you snickering madly and talking to yourself while camped out in your office.
Me: Umm, did you have a camera installed in my office?
Editor: Editor: all-knowing

Needless to say, I get undressed in the dark now. Just in case.

Conversations With My Editor

Me:
I think I’m doing a Neil Gaiman here, but promise me you’ll help me fix this pile of sh!t into something that resembles a coherent story?

Editor:
1) I promise.
2) It’s not a pile of sh!t.
3) That applies regardless of which story you’re talking about.

The amount of hand-holding and encouragement editors do is awesome. Which means that editors are also awesome. I know mine is.

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Conversations with my Editor

In response to Missy Welsh stating that she planned to do her own NanoWriMo in May, June and July and that she was thinking about blogging the process…

Me: I would totally rather experience that vicariously.
Editor: Me too.Oh wait — that *is* how I experience it. Mwahahahaha!
Me: You behave, or we’ll all send in a manuscript at the SAME TIME. *cackles*
Editor: Evil. Expect “boogers” to be inserted at random spots in your next mss
Me: How do you know it’s not already in there a thousand times?
Editor: Dammit. Wait, if “booger” is in there 1000 times, this ms might have…issues.

This is the reality of publishing. Sorry to burst your bubble. 🙂