You would think, after all this time, I would recognize that when a chapter isn’t working for me, it’s probably a point of view error.
Nope. To parody Writing Excuses: “Fifteen hours, because no one can see it happening and I’m not that smart.” I’ve spent the past three days tweaking and rearranging this chapter, making it incrementally better with each change. Yet, no matter what I did, I was still unsatisfied.
I was driving home from paying the vet bill today when I realized that this chapter needs to be from Levi’s point of view. I have information I need to pass on to you all, but to do it from Glyn’s point of view means rehashing information you already have, and going ‘public’ with information that Glyn can’t have during this book. (Because I wrote myself into a corner in Bite Me Tender.)
Coming at it from within Levi’s head… I can toss all sorts of tidbits your way, and leave Glyn in the dark. *cue evil laugh* I love Glyn dearly, but I love torturing him more.
If he ever finds me, I’m done for. 😀
So, here’s a piece from the broken chapter. Look for Levi’s take on things in the published version. Unless the editor nixes it. >.<
The server caught Glyn as he was about to stomp out the door. He handed Glyn his credit card slip to sign, which gave Levi just enough time to catch up. Glyn glared at the werewolf, shrugged into his long coat, and walked out.
Levi was right on his heels. “Fine.”
Glyn kept walking. “Fine, what?” He shouldered through the outer doors and gasped as the cold wind blew his coat open.
“Fine, I’ll tell you. Hope it makes you happy.”
“Getting blindsided later on certainly won’t. What’s the big deal?” Glyn lowered his voice. “You keep telling me werewolves are tough.”
Levi came to an abrupt halt. “I was a monster. I’m trying to get better.”
Glyn spun to glare at him. “Really? Who do you think you’re talking to?” He gestured at himself. “Am I any less a monster?”
Levi stepped in close, and said in a low voice, “There’s monster, and then there’s killer.”